


Dirk Squared

by witheringWriter



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, PWP, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 16:26:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witheringWriter/pseuds/witheringWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk hated it.</p><p>You knew he hated you and Headcanon!him.</p><p>It pissed him off to no end that you created an alternate version of him for your own little fantasies and wishes.</p><p>Somewhere along the line, they started to get along.</p><p>When, you haven't a clue.</p><p>But to the nature their pleasantries were forming into, you are glad to have understood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirk Squared

**Author's Note:**

> sorry not sorry

Post-game was a universe that was more complicated than the pre-existing in-game universe. That was something you've come to terms with. It was something you had to come to terms with.

Because on your tail is two Dirks. 

One who is pretty pissed. One who wants nothing but to protect you.

You have to blame yourself for it though. You created Brain Ghost Dirk with also how you wanted Dirk to be. Which is probably why Real Dirk hates you and your headcanon version of him so much.

And through all the feelings of anxious contentment with your Dirk and guilt with Dirk, you are still a scared and cowardly douche. You've at least grown to admit that. You, Jake English, are a fool at understanding the basic concepts of appropriate human behavior towards a lover and an ex who happen to be the same person existing at the same time next to each other, parallel on a time to space to universe ratio where it was neither sensical nor nonsensical. 

But that was all your brain blathering to make sense that Headcanon Dirk and Real Dirk are both in front of you because none of it still actually does.

You received a prompt punch in the face by them both and they walked off, arm in arm. And you were even more confused than before because when the fuck did they start getting along?

-

Arriving back home from the jungle you were knocked out in, you began to notice two things.

One, your house smelled thick and musty and it was incredibly hot that even you felt the effects.

Two, as you walked into the lounge area of your private island estate, you see two blond heads moving against each other with one being shirtless and the other pants-less.

You almost choked and hid away behind the wall adjacent to the entrance.

They were moaning.

You could hear the sound of wet fingers slicking up and the fast pumping of one of the Dirks dicks.

With a light head, you slowly undid your cargo shorts, the green briefs proving to be helping to make the material part in a tent. You listened out for the high pitched whines and the small coy giggles and the moans they each tried to hold in.

You finally gripped your cock and started jerking off erratically. God they sounded so fucking hot and you just wanted to be there with them, watching their faces contort into expressions of absolute pleasure. You wanted to watch Dirk literally fuck himself because God, you could not pick someone to love and hate more than you do with Dirk Strider and his insufferable overbearing ways but his lithe body and authoritative gazes.

You wanted him to stare at you as he comes with your name on his lips. Watching those magnificent golden eyes haze over and roll back as his orgasms shakes him and he spills all over himself.

Picking up the pace without trying to damage your painfully hard penis, you his the wall behind you and hear them stop. You shoot your other hand straight up to your mouth and try not to breathe.

You hear them chuckle and shift on the couch.

"Come join us, Jake," you hear BG Dirk call. You know it's him because of the sultry tone in his voice. Your headcanon for him calls for a sarcastic and asshole-y tone of voice or a very sexy one you love to use as fap material when you're alone with nothing but your private thoughts.

"I promise I won't hurt you too much," Real Dirk sneers. Ever since the discovery of the New Dirk, he became more bitter towards you. You know he still has those romantic feelings but clouding them was the disgust he had for you since you had the audacity to make up a different Dirk. You'd think he'd be mildly flattered by you thinking about him but he was still rather offended and took to antagonizing you with Jane while you went to seek the advice of Roxy.

But now was not the time for thinking of your other friends when you have other friends waiting for you.

You tried your best to tuck your cock back into your unbuttoned pants and entered the area. You felt your breathing hitch when you actually saw them. 

They were still hard. They had no glasses. Their hair was messed up so that it didn't hold it's waved and spiky shape. And they were also very very hot looking.

BG Dirk was the one without the pants, and now that you're looking at him, newly without underwear. You could tell from the lack of scars on his arms and the longer lashes along with the more feminine qualities you saw in the boy who was supposed to care for you.

Real Dirk had pale scars littering his body. His shoulders were still broad and his hips were still small with a slight flare that's more noticeable with his pants the way they were. His gloves were still on and they were shining with a thin layer of dripping saliva and lube from his fingers down to his leather-covered palm.

"So you are joining?" BG Dirk purred. You nodded dumbly in response and he motioned for you to come around the back of the couch where he knelt, facing you.

He started sucking at the wet spot on your briefs made by the weeping cock you had right there. You could feel the coolness of his mouth sucking at the clothed head and ran a hand through his hair.

Meanwhile, Real Dirk was watching and licking his lips, slowly pumping his own girth at the site of himself teasing you, Jake English.

BG Dirk's tongue swirled on the cloth and he made his way to the hem of your underwear, pulling it away with his teeth. 

Generic as the move was, it was still hot. Most likely due to the fact that your dick was now free of the elastic confinements of your underwear and BG Dirk was slowly and amazingly sucking your dick.

His teeth dragged along it and you grabbed his head and made him take you further in his mouth. He gave a choked moan as you kept fucking his face.

He pulled off to make a gesture to Real Dirk who joined in, kneeling beside his alternate and holding the other side of your hips, licking a long strip of bare cock. He licked a bead of precum and swirled against your cock head that was peaking, pink and glossy, out of your foreskin.

"Want to fuck yet, or shall we keep going?" Dirk - Real Dirk - asked. BG Dirk smirked on the side of your cock and gave it a small kiss before dragging his doppelganger on top of him. 

BG Dirk slid Real Dirk's pants off and separated his asscheeks for you. Dirk blushed deeply, almost the same color as his freckles, and arched his back so his ass was more up. BG Dirk giggled and let his fingers trace his body-twin's little entrance.

"Get in," he winked.

You lined yourself up, feeling the slickness that was probably the lube that you saw previously on Dirk's hand, and slid your head in. Real Dirk gasped and tightened slightly before relaxing and letting you slide all the way in. He shuddered around you and you gripped his narrow-ish hips tightly.

"You can move," he managed out. You nodded with a grunt and gave one thrust which he keened into. He was breathing heavily and giving choked cries of pleasure and you loved the sound.

BG Dirk started to stroke himself, positioning his ass over Real Dirk's dick and sliding himself on with a small smirk. His eyes fluttered in enjoyment and he rolled his hips, making Dirk hit his prostate.

You and BG Dirk both moved faster, timing your movements at the same time so that the Dirk in the middle could feel it all from both sides.

He moaned pathetically and you equally so, BG Dirk just laughing shallowly and riding to his orgasm.

"Oh God, fuck me," Dirk whispered before squealing.

"I am so fucking close right now," BG Dirk groaned, huffing attractively. The sweat was rolling down his face and to his neck where it rested by his collar bone.

"Lick him and mark him," you ordered Dirk since you couldn't do it yourself. He nodded, whimpering, and did as you said, soon leading into a heavy and passionate make out with the man under him.

They were moaning into each other, tongues rolling and saliva exchanging, BG Dirk clinging to Real Dirk helplessly as he came first.

Real Dirk kept on fucking his alternate's ass until he pulled out and came on top of the layer of cum that was also his.

He tiredly rolled his hips against you but he was so exhausted and you couldn't do much but helplessly fuck him. He moaned and tightened around you and you pounded into him, cumming as Dirk shot another string of cum from his dick.

You pulled out and watched the cum only slightly ooze out of Dirk's pale and slightly hairy ass. You would have had the curiosity to lick it out if you weren't so tired.

The Dirks cuddled up to each other, wiping the jizz away with BG Dirk's shirt and breathing into each others necks.

You huffed and put your cock back in your briefs and pulled up your pants, making your way to your room quietly.

BG Dirk glanced at you and gave you a wink. You blushed and rolled your eyes, scoffing.

"I fucking hate you, Jake," Dirk murmured,. You snort at this and looked at both of them.

"Go fuck yourself, mate."

**Author's Note:**

> i remembered i had to publish this shit here  
> anyway ye  
> tryin to get back to writin again since a mate of mine started to read my fics so i was like yoooo lol  
> i really gotta work on tense and shit but rn idc i just needed to post this after my ages long drystreak in not postin here  
> will be postin a thing tomorrow after editin the fucker tonight  
> k later


End file.
